im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
