i barfeds in our rink
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
