just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
