wakey wakey hands off snakey
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Randomize