Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
