I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
