have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
