Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
