Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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