let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
