It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
