This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
