My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
