If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
