he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
