Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
nutella sex= disaster
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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