Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
