oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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