Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
