I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
