My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
