I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
