i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
