hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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