dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
