It's Friday. Sex?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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