Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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