I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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