i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She just used a chaser for red wine.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
