Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
