are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
