he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize