What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
