Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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