Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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