i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
