Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You need Xanax blowdarts
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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