I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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