dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
