I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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