How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
