so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
