Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
