can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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