You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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