So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
