I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
