Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I didn't notice because vodka
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
