I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
