The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
