Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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