so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
