who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
