My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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