I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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