but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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